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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27786607">The Key and the Gate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_the_bird/pseuds/Jay_the_bird'>Jay_the_bird</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Album), The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parent Dr Carmilla (Dr. Carmilla), Destructive Behaviour, Jonny d'Ville and Nastya Rasputina are Siblings, Mentioned Dr Carmilla (Dr. Carmilla), Protective Jonny d'Ville, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Story: Out (The Mechanisms), Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:20:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27786607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_the_bird/pseuds/Jay_the_bird</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nastya went out, and everything that was broken fell apart. Aurora sees this, and she can think of only one solution.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Drumbot Brian/Jonny d'Ville, Jonny d'Ville &amp; Nastya Rasputina, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, Prison Mechs, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina, polymechs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Key and the Gate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aurora is peaceful at night. Night, of course, in the space between stars, is an arbitrary concept, one decided by the ship herself based upon the moods of the crew. Most of them retreat to their pods for the nights, making her hallways almost eerily quiet compared to the chaos and violence of the days, when entertainment is sought out with reckless abandon and frustrations are vented on the closest beings without mercy. But at night, Aurora is peaceful – even lonely, without much sign of life at all as she travels through the empty void towards some unknown destination. There is rarely a sound to break the quiet humming of the engines, and any sound there is rings out like a bell in the darkness. Unavoidable. Unfamiliar. <em>Dangerous</em>.</p><p> </p><p>And there are footsteps ringing on the floor outside Jonny’s door. Boots on metal, slow and unhurried, passing by in the graveyard watches. Someone walking with confidence, who knows where they are going, who knows what they are looking for. One, two, three, and then a slight hesitation before the owner of those boots sighs and throws themselves at the wall to lean there and fiddle with something. A weapon, his mind hisses, fear choking him. The intruder must be checking their weapon before coming in to get him. And if it’s an intruder outside, he knows there is only one person it can be. The thought freezes his blood, and Jonny sits on the floor inside, gun held out in front of him, his aim steady as he watches the lock, the still handle, the hinges, for the first sign of an intruder.</p><p> </p><p>It’s illogical. The Doc isn’t coming back, and he knows that. She <em>can’t </em>come back. He can still see her floating out into the void, is still haunted by the lack of surprise she had shown when he had pulled the lever and opened the outer airlock. She won’t come back. Not this time. They’re so long gone, so far away, that it <em>has</em> to be permeant. Even <em>she</em> couldn’t track them across that many wormholes, that many time jumps, that many dead universes. But no matter how much he repeats this to himself, something in his blood tells him to watch out, screams at him that she’s coming, tells him to beware. His heart skips a beat, the rhythm thrown off by his fear, and he wonders if that, too, is a sign she’s back. Footsteps outside, a shuffling as they get comfortable, and his nerves light up with fear once again. Is she coming to <em>fix </em>him? To fix everything? To make them all scream and <em>scream</em> until they are remade, perfect and unbreaking at last? Phantom pain lances through his body, but Jonny remains bolt upright, sat against the wall and aiming at the door in front of him. She might not be returning, but the fear remains, pinning him in place. He can’t ignore it. Can’t even try. With Nastya gone, he alone has to protect the others from the Doc – not that he’s going to be much help like this. <em>Useless</em>. It’s probably just Marius, bored and wandering the hallways looking for someone to psychoanalyse. Jonny had <em>thought</em> it was Marius, before the fear set in. Before he had been paralysed by the creeping dread that whispered memories of the Doc’s lab.</p><p> </p><p>“First mate in need of assistance. Nastya Rasputina has been contacted.” He flinches and swings around to aim at the camera tucked into one corner as a cool voice announces that Aurora has been watching him. A red light blinks on and off as it whirs and focuses on him. She can’t really be avoided, but Jonny is still resentful of being seen like this, paralysed with irrational fear. Sneering automatically, Jonny wipes his face roughly with his free hand. The mention of Nastya hurts more than he will ever admit, more than any death he has experienced.</p><p> </p><p>“No, she <em>hasn’t</em>.” His voice is bitter, sharpened by grief as he aims directly at the camera, one of Aurora’s many unblinking eyes. For a moment, his fear is forgotten, replaced by the all-consuming pain of loss. Another airlock. Another one of his family gone. Sometimes, Jonny wonders if he is destined to watch all that he loves floating slowly away through the warped glass of an airlock porthole.</p><p> </p><p>“Nastya Rasputina has been contacted.” This time, Jonny doesn’t hesitate. He fires at the camera, and then at the speaker in the ceiling, and then twice at the door, reloading on instinct while the remains of his quickened violence smoulder. The camera quietly replaces itself. “Nastya Rasputina has been contacted.” Choking back a sob, Jonny fires again, haphazardly, hitting the walls and ceiling, not even bothering to aim for anything.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s gone. She’s <em>gone, </em>and she’s not coming back.” He shouts, glaring at the cameras as they emerge from the walls and retreat in turn to avoid his bullets.</p><p> </p><p>“Nastya Rasputina has been contacted.” There is distress in Aurora’s voice, but Jonny doesn’t want to care, so he shuts down his empathy, makes himself go cold and numb inside and pretends that it doesn’t hurt him to do so. “Nastya Rasputina has been contacted.” She repeats, over and over and over again. Jonny puts his hands over his ears and rocks back and forth, trying to not hear it. <em>Nastya, Nastya, Nastya. </em>Her name cuts like a knife, a reminded of all he’s lost, of all he keeps failing to be.</p><p> </p><p>“Nastya’s dead!” Shouting to drown her out, Jonny closes his eyes tight and keeps his hands clamped over his ears. “She’s dead, Aurora. She’s dead.” There are warm tears rolling down his cheeks, and in the silence, he realises he can no longer hear the footsteps. Jonny is alone, the quiet hum of the engines only broken by his uneven, gasping breaths.</p><p> </p><p>“Nastya cannot die. None of the crew of the Aurora can die.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well she did.” There is silence. A long, bitter silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Nastya Rasputina has been contacted.” Jonny lurches to his feet, stumbling to the door to escape that cool, insistent voice. It is locked, but that doesn’t stop him long, his own pain dismissed as unimportant as he claws it open by brute force, emerging into a hallway that is mercifully abandoned. Jonny doesn’t quite know if he wants to know who it had been, walking outside. Whether they had been annoyed by him or unaware, or just unwilling to face his rage, Jonny doesn’t know. Doesn’t <em>want</em> to know. Either way, he is on his own, and there is no one who can stop him as he unleashes his pent-up anger and helpless guilt on the hallways. Fire and bullets, fists and blade and plasma. Aurora retaliates with the gun walls, cutting him down with ease in seconds. The pain is grounding, tethering Jonny to his own <em>useless</em> body, half broken, half fixed, unable to help anyone. He dies, choking on his own blood, and lies still for five minutes before his wounds are knit back together well enough that he can stand and continue his attack.</p><p> </p><p>He spends the next three weeks carving a path of destruction through Aurora, from the engines to the bridge, kitchen to quarters and back again. Tim joins him for a while, and Ashes lays a trail of gasoline for him at one point, but neither share his furious, unrelenting hatred for everything and everyone, and they both tire quickly of the meaningless destruction. It’s not as fun, fighting Aurora. She doesn’t fight back, not <em>these</em> days, not since Nastya left. Just tries to contain him, to cage him in an unused section where he can rage out of the way of anyone else. <em>Useless</em> first mate, not even <em>half</em> the Captain that the Doc had been. She could have prevented Nastya from leaving, she wouldn’t have just stood there and watched her float out of their lives. Doctor Carmilla would be bringing the crew together, not waging war against their ship for the crime of reminding him of his failures. Jonny knows that Aurora sees him as a nuisance, a temporary disturbance to deal with, to keep out of sight until he tires of hurting her.</p><p> </p><p>And then, when he does eventually tire, she releases him into Brian’s path. Brian, who manages to hold him long enough that his manic, furious energy dissipates into sobs and grieving and <em>fear</em> – always fear, at the end of it all. Brian, who takes Jonny to the bridge, and listens when he starts speaking and all that comes out is Nastya’s name, <em>over</em> and <em>over</em> again. Brian, who doesn’t leave him on his own. Who stays and holds him through the guilty sobs that leave him shaking. Jonny does not, on principle, let the others know how much he needs them. He’s the <em>Captain</em>, after all, and he is so deathly afraid that they will find out he doesn’t know what he’s doing and stop following the <em>rest</em> of his orders. But when Brian combs his hair back and tells him that it’s all going to be ok, Jonny lets himself forget how much of a bad idea this is, and just allows Brian to comfort him.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t really remember the crew meeting, except for the knowledge that he is no longer alone with Brian. Vaguely, he can recall arguments, Raph and Ivy and Marius against the rest of them, a decision being made that he agrees to but that flees from his memory as soon as it is said. They drift away slowly, retreating to their pods or to the undamaged parts of Aurora. More guilt, filling up Jonny’s lungs. He feels it when Aurora turns around, and he knows, deep in his tired immortal bones, that they are heading back to the Yggdrasil system. To Vahöll, where he last saw Nastya freezing to death through a tiny, circular window of thick glass. His heart <em>aches</em>, a sharp, slicing pain through his chest that refuses to relent, even through the following weeks and months of travel.</p><p> </p><p>The Aurora has not forgiven him. Her walls are filled with guns, which train on him as he passes and occasionally open fire. Now it is Jonny who doesn’t retaliate, who chokes back the pain and regenerates and keeps getting back up. He even goes about the process of fixing the damage he caused, which unfortunately does little to convince her of his regret. Jonny just hopes that getting Nastya back will make Aurora forgive him. The guilty, bitter part of him says she shouldn’t forgive him. That he doesn’t <em>deserve</em> forgiveness. Jonny doesn’t tell anyone about those thoughts. He doesn’t want them to lie to him – and he really doesn’t want them to tell the truth. Better by far to be able to fool himself into believing that they think well or badly of him depending on his mood. Better by far not to know.</p>
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